Why I Drink Coffee

I’m a little short on creativity and motivation here lately.  Pretty much the ONLY thing that has kept me functioning at even half-speed is my morning cup of coffee.  Why do I NEED enjoy it so much? 

This is my top ten.

10.  It smells great!  As you know, I am not a morning person at all like, even REMOTELY.  So, for me, the smell of bacon frying or eggs or even toast, is not a pleasant thing until well after I have left for my morning commute.  I’m just not “there” yet.  Coffee, however, smells great and alerts me to morning by awakening at least enough of my senses to operate a car.  Hmmm, so maybe it’s actually olfactory arousal, because, God KNOWS no other system in my body is working prior to about 10AM.

9.  It prevents headaches!  Of course, if I didn’t drink it EVERY morning, without fail, I probably wouldn’t crave, want, NEED it every day.  But, hey!  If that is my only addiction, I could do worse, ya know?

8.  It aids in social adjustment.  Good one, right?  I mean, seriously, how would you find out the latest in company/office gossip if it weren’t for that homing device we call the “break room”, which is nothing more than a shrine to the Coffee Gods.  Just think what life would be like if you never used the “community stir spoon”.  You know, the ONLY spoon the office owns and the one EVERYONE uses to stir his/her coffee.  Yep, the very reason that, after leaving home in the morning, I drink my coffee black thank you!

7.  It revs up your short-term memory.  Okay, whatever.  Seriously, I read that somewhere, probably on-line at a dot com site, so TOTALLY believable right? It actually does make sense since it’s a central nervous system stimulant.

6.  It comes in a variety of flavors!  I am not a one-size-fits-all kind of girl.  I like to mix it up.  That’s a really nice way of saying I’m easily bored.  Changing coffee flavors, or adding a special creamer (9 billion flavors to choose from) though only at home (see #6), adds a bit of spice to an otherwise monotonous day.

5.  It makes you an adult.  Admit it.  You raise an eyebrow at those who “don’t drink coffee”.  What!?!  You don’t drink coffee?!??  Are you an American?  What would you like?  A tea?  A hot chocolate?  Or, God forbid, a Water!??  How boring and juvenile!  Health conscious?  Whatever.  I do about two miles a day and run the stairs at work, and believe you me, I COULDN’T do it without a good dose of caffeine!

4.  It discourages colon cancer.  I read that too, but it makes slightly more sense.  I mean, it speeds things up because it’s a stimulant and I understand it has the same impact on the digestive tract.  So, basically, it just roto rooters right through without all those harsh chemicals they use to ignite a chemistry experiment in your colon when you have that lovely colonoscopy at age 40.  Tastes better than Miralax too, not that I know that from personal experience or anything.

3. It makes it okay to be full of beans. In fact, if you are a REAL coffee connoisseur, you buy and grind your own beans. It’s fresher and way more hip.  At my age, anything I can do to appear “hip” while keeping the focus away from my actual hips is a good thing. So, I buy whole beans and use my trusty Krups grinder from my actual “hip” college days.

2.  It makes me human.  Really.  I cannot tell you how many pre-dawn conversations at my house start with, “Mom, have you had any coffee yet?”, and deteriorate into some form of “I forgot my homework, poster board for the project due at noon, flushed my DS game card accidentally,” etc.  You laugh because you’ve been there too.  But even at as early preschoolers, my children had honed in on the mantra:  A Happy Mom is a Caffeinated Mom.  Smart kids.

And, the Number ONE reason I drink Coffee:

It’s one of my favorite things!  It’s yummy as Latte, cappuccino, and Espresso.  It’s great black or with cream- real cream.  No worries about high fat stuff.  I mean, you only live once, so enjoy, right?  It’s wonderful with flavored creamer.  Don’t forget FLAVORED coffee beans!!!  I could go on and on, but the bottom line is:  it’s absolutely one of my favorite things.  I have loved coffee ever since I helped myself to Dad’s leftover cream and sugared up cup as a child.  It coursed through my veins, I’m certain, in college and grad school and kept me sane as a new mom.  It’s an old, comfortable friend.  We go back a long way.

Some of my favorite mugs.

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